Nothing's Gonna Change my world
by rae of sunshinexx
Summary: What happens when one bad mistake ruins your entire life? What is you only were trying to protect the one you loved? Jate. Each Chapter has a song theme and the song doesn't magically appear, it relates to something in the story. I don't own anything.
1. When You're gone

**Nothing's Gonna Change my World**

**Chapter One**

The engine slowly called to her as she sat in the drivers seat. If she started to drive she knew that it was real, that it wasn't just a bad dream, that she wouldn't wake up in the warmth of her bed. But in her heart she already knew this wasn't a dream, it was a real nightmare, the kind that would wake you up panting and sweating but in this nightmare, she didn't wake up, she just lived it. The song from the radio filled her mind and all she wanted to do was shut it off, to make everything around her go away, to just let her be in peace.

_I always needed time on my own._

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cried._

As if on cue, Kate began to cry, her head in her hands and her elbows using her knees as a table. She remembered moments when he would wrap his arms around her, hold her as she sobbed, let her feel safe, and now she had no one. Nothing to calm her and tell her that everything was alright, and all because she wouldn't listen, she let her pride overpower her heart and now, she was alone. Her eyes met with the clock over the radion and she sighed as she finally placed her foot on the gas and pulled out of the driveway.

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lied, it's made up on your side._

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take._

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

Red, the traffice light changed from the bright yellow to red just as she pulled up. She couldn't help but close her eyes for a moment to stop the steady flow of tears that continued to fall, she had to stop crying, she had to try and live. But she knew that it would never be the same, she would never have that same feeling looking into someone else's eyes as she did when she looked into his. She would never be able to smile at someone else the same way she smiled at him. It wouldn't be the same, no matter what, and she knew that she would always end up alone.

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart I'm missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too._

_When you're gone_

_All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day_

_And make it okay_

_I miss you._

"Damnit." Kate changed the station to find commericals, put the song continued to play. She looked up to the now green light and sighed as she continued on her way. The clock seemed to stay at the same time and she sighed, she was hours early and all she wanted to do was go back and find him there, sitting on the couch smiling towards, but she knew she wouldn't so she drove to the coffee shop, the coffee shop they would meet at, and sat at the table in the far back.

**Past**

**The bell over her head rung and she smiled as she saw the tall, stubbled man in the back bring his head up and smile as he saw her. She slowly walked over to the table that he was sitting at and sat across from him. The coffee that he had ordered for them, the same coffee they got everytime they met here, came in silence and the two slowly sipped the drink. For some reason today was uncomfortable sitting across from him, the fact that they last time they had seen each other was the night before when she left his apartment to return to her apartment she shared with Sawyer. When she was about to speak she smiled to find him looking down at his coffee and softly singing to himself.**

_**Hey Jude.**_

_**Don't make it bad.**_

_**Take a sad song and make it better.**_

_**Remember to let her into your home**_

_**then you can start to make it better.**_

**Kate laughed as he looked up and quickly looked away from her. "You heard that huh?" She nodded and her nervously laughed under his breath. "It's just, it's been one of my favorites since I was a kid. I used to wish my name was Jude. Have you ever heard the story of Hey Jude?" When Kate shook her head he continued on. "Well, when Julian Lennon was younger he went to the studio and John yelled at him, telling him to go home. Paul McCartney went home that night and wrote Hey Jude to cheer him up. So when I was younger I used to wish that someone would do something like that whenever my dad was disappointed in me." He finally brought his embrassed, brown eyes up to meet hers and they both smiled. The guilt that they had for the night before left and they only saw each other.**

**"I never pegged you as a Beatles kind of guy." She laughed as she slowly looked down to her watch. She sighed and stood up and walked closer to Jack kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I gotta go, same place tonight?" She asked with a smirk. He nodded and before he could say another word she was out the door and heading towards her car.**

Present

The same table was the only one open and Kate reluctantly walked over and sat down, looking straight at the chair he had been sitting in. The same songs played everyday they were in there and once again The Beatles filled her ears. She tried to block it out but the song continued to play until she finally got up and left her half full coffee mug sitting on her table.


	2. Somewhere over the Rainbow

Nothings gonna change my world

chapter two

"I WANT TO GO DOWN FIRST...MOM TELL TOMMY TO STOP." The little girls cries to her brother to let her go first reached Kate's ears as looked up from her feet. She was sitting in the park across from Jack's apartment, the park she would run to to get away from Sawyer and to meet Jack. Kate closed her eyes at the sound of his name and sighed, her hand placed gently on her stomach as she opened them once again to watch the children.

**Past**

_**I could stay awake**_

_**Just to hear you breathing**_

_**Watch you smile while you are sleeping**_

_**while your far away in dreaming.**_

_**I could spend my life in this sweet surrender.**_

_**I could stay lost in this moment forever.**_

_**Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.**_

_**Don't wanna close my eyes**_

_**I Don't wanna far asleep**_

_**Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing**_

_**Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do.**_

_**Cause I'd still miss you baby**_

_**and I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**Lying close to you**_

_**feeling your heart beating.**_

_**And I'm wondering what your dreaming**_

_**Wondering if it's me your seeing.**_

_**And then I kiss you eyes and thank God we're together.**_

_**I just want to stay with you in this moment forever.**_

_**Forever and ever.**_

_**I don't wanna close my eyes.**_

_**I don't wanna fall asleep cause I'd miss you baby**_

_**and I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do.**_

_**Cause I'd still miss you baby.**_

_**And I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**I don't wanna miss one smile.**_

_**I don't wanna miss one kiss.**_

_**I just wanna be with you right here you with you.**_

_**Just like this.**_

_**I just wanna hold you close.**_

_**Feel your heart so close to mine.**_

_**I just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time...**_

_**Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeahhhhhhh.**_

_**Don't wanna close my eyes.**_

_**I don't wanna fall asleep cause I'd miss you baby.**_

_**And I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**Cause even when I dream of you**_

_**The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby**_

_**and I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**I don't wanna close my eyes.**_

_**I don't wanna fall asleep cause I'd miss you baby**_

_**and I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

_**And everytime I dream of you**_

_**The sweetest dreams will never do cause I still miss you baby**_

_**And I don't wanna miss a thing. **_

_**I don't wanna close my eyes**_

_**I don't wanna fall asleep, yeah**_

_**I don't wanna miss a thing.**_

**"Jack..." Her voice was barely a whisper as she slowly opened her to eyes to see Jack still asleep. She smiled for a moment before her eyes fell onto the clock that blinked behind him. 7:35 am flashed into her eyes in bright red letters. Kate continued to cruse under her breath as she shook Jack awake. "Jack..JACK!" He finally stirred and turned around to see the alarm clock and began to follow Kate in swearing under his breath. Jack quickly stood up and began to redress himself as Kate continued to sit in the bed.**

**"Kate, Sawyer will be home any mintue shouldn't you be getting dressed?!?" Kate was brought out of her thoughts and slowly nodded as she stood up and walked into the bathroom. Jack soon followed her and stood in the doorway to her see on the floor of the bathroom, crying. "Kate what's.."**

**"I can't do this anymore, I can't let you lie to her." Jack shook his head as he sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her closer. She cried into his chest until she finally managed to slow her tears and she stood up. "Jack, I think we have to end this, I know you don't want to see her hurt..."**

**"What about Sawyer? He was my friend, do you think I want to seem him hurt?" Jack had finally stood to face her and as she continued to try and leave he stood in front of her. "Why don't you care what happens to him?"**

**"BECAUSE HE HASN'T LIVED HERE FOR SIX MONTHS JACK! I broke up with him six months ago." Jack no longer stood in front of her but looked away and turned away. Kate tried to walk up to him but he turned and shook his head to her. "Jack please I couldn't..I..." Kate didn't know what to say to him and when he started to leave she quickly followed. "What your just leaving now?!? Your just gonna walk out on me?"**

**"You lied to me Kate." Jack turned around so quickly that she was nearly thrown off balance. He sighed as he turned back around and grabbed his keys and his jacket.**

**"Fine then! Don't come back. You walk out of that door again don't ever call me, don't ever try and come back into my life." Kate stopped when she spoke and stood in the living room. Jack had his hand on the door knob and looked to his feet. "You walk out of that door and you walk out on me. I did for you Jack, I left him for you and if you leave now that was all just a waste." He sighed once more until he opened the door and slowly made his way down the hall. Kate continued standing where she was and walked over to the nearest chair and sat down, the shock finally settling the steady flow of slow tears turning into sobs.**

Present

Kate looked down at her watch and grabbed her purse as quickly as she can as she ran back to her car. "Damn, I'm gonna be late." She searched through, what seemed like an endless pit, her purse and found her keys and started the car up pulling away from the park. The radio was turned off and when she pressed the power a man's voice slowly fluttered to her ears.

"Well here's to all you oldies fans, a classic from the movies. Here's Judy Garland with Somewhere over the rainbow." Soon the song began to play and Kate sighed.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high_

_There's a land that I heard of_

_Once in a lullaby_

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Skies are blue._

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. _

_Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me_

_Where trouble melts like lemondrops_

_Away above the chimmnel tops_

_That's where you'll find me._

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Blue birds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_Why then oh why can't I_

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Blue birds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_why then oh why I can't I._

_If happy little blue birds fly _

_Beyond the rainbow,_

_why oh why can't I?_

Kate thought about laying in his arms at night, listening to him whisper that they could run away, that they could go to their own special place. And all she remembered was what she told him, the response he recieved everything time he started with his thoughts. "Maybe we could go somewhere over the rainbow."


	3. Goodbye my Almost lover

**Nothing's Gonna Change my World**

**Chapter 3**

_Your fingertips across my skin  
The palm trees swaying in the wind   
Images  
You sang me Spanish lullabies  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
Clever trick _

The stering wheel was gripped under her cold hands as she starred straight ahead, starred straight to the place she didn't want to go. Kate's head hung low as she tried to read the street signs, telling her that she was close, close to realizing that it wasn't all a dream, that it was her reality. Slowly she pulled down the final street, driving slowly through the mourning of those around her. Faces she reconigzed masked by a sadness that she couldn't describe, that hit her straight in her heart. She slowly brought her foot to the break and fell onto the sterring wheel, sobbing and whispering as if it would magically hold her like him.

"Why...Why couldn't he just be here, why'd he have to leave..." Her voice was so soft that she could barely hear what she was saying. She finally collected the little bit of herself she had left and stepped out of the car.

**Past**

**The handcuffs that hugged closely around her wrists slowly began soring. Thoughts were running through her head. Why'd she come back for him, he clearly didn't care that she had left, he was happy with Juliet, yet still something inside told her that it wasn't real, that it was just all an act. She loved him, and he knew that but why would he tell her to leave and not come back?**

_**Well, I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me **_

**Slowly the door opened to reveal the man who held her at gunpoint, the man who showed her that Jack wouldn't let them hurt her. He was the first other she came in close contact with when they first kidnapped them, when this nightmare began. "Didn't think I'd see you so soon Kate..." He turned away from her to talk to someone that she couldn't see. Her heart skipped a beat when he came closer to the door. "Be careful in here..."**

**"Thanks..." Jack finally found her sitting on the pool table and looked straight into her eyes. Kate froze exactly how she was and could hardly find the strength to breathe. Slowly Tom shut the door behind him and Jack walked over to the nearest chair, turning it around and sitting with his legs on either side. For a few seconds all they could do was look at each other, not saying a word. "Did they hurt you?" **

**Kate remained sitting on the table, still in the same position as she shook her head. "No, they hurt you." The short laugh he gave made her shiver as she said no. "What is this place?" Kate finally asked as she moved off the table slightly.**

**"This is where they live." Their conversation continued on, stiff as ever, neither showing that they truly cared for each other. Slowly Kate began to realize that something was wrong. They fought for a few moments until she got close enough to him. Slowly she touched his hands and he wrapped his around hers. She could feel his breath against her own as she sat infront of her. He told her that he was going home, that he trust them because she told him too and suddenly her heart fell. What if he knew...**

**Then Juliet opened the door behind them and once she left Kate fell down the ground. "I asked you not to come back for me, and I wish, I wish that you hadn't." Slowly he stood up and walked closer to where she had moved and crouched down. "But I will come back here for you..." **

Present

_I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind  
So you're gone and I'm haunted  
And I bet you are just fine_

Did I make it that  
Easy to walk right in and out  
Of my life? 

The ocean surrounding the cemetary only reminded Kate of the island, of the happy moments she shared with him. She slowly walked up to the progression of people as the music died down and the priest stood up. Kate refused to sit down, she stood in the back where no one could see her. She listened to the words flow through out of his mouth and kept her eyes to her feet. She could barely hold back the salty tears that were begging to be released. Slowly she silently sobbed until she heard the priest begin the closing pray. "The lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me lay down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside still waters, he restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name sake."

Kate exhaled before she joined in with the rest of the funeral. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff: they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presense of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me in all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen." Slowly she brought her hand to her stomach she slowly laughed between her sobs and looked up to find Sawyer standing in front of her. "I never told him. I never told him about the baby. I never told him that it was his. And I never told him I loved him..." Her voice slowly drifted when he looked down.

"Then go tell 'em now Kate." She knew that he wouldn't call her Freckles, no matter what situation. It was a show of affection and since she broke his heart he had no affection left for her. She slowly nodded as she walked up to the casket. Everyone else had began to clear out and only she stood beside it. She laid her hand on the cold, hard wood and sighed.

"Hi Jack.." she laughed at how stupid she sounded but knew that if she didn't say it she would regret it. "um...I'm sorry I never told you I loved you." She sighed as she used her free hand to wipe away the tears from her face. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the baby. I wanted to but I was so scared when I saw you that night that..I just couldn't. I miss you Jack..." Kate couldn't stand up any longer and she ran back to her car and slammed the door behind her. She slowly sunk into the seat and turned the car on, crying into her hands trying to collect herself so she could drive. "I can't do it alone..." Kate looked down once again and at her, now flat, stomach and laughed softly. "But it's all I have left of him..."

The radio blarred into her ear as she collected herself and drove away.

_Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do_


End file.
